GarageGabs

First things first….remember the Bears fan who put herself up for bid on E-bay as a companion for someone willing to part with a ticket? Well, turns out, Axe (you know, the body spray) rewarded her with 4 tickets and she is holding open auditions for the 4th and final ticket. Deadspin has the entire scoop on her, but that’s not what I’m here to talk about.

If you do by chance fall into her good graces and obtain that Super Bowl ticket, don’t expect to be doing any tailgating. CBS4 in Miami is reporting that the Super Bowl XLI has BANNED tailgating within 1 mile of the stadium.

“There is no tailgating allowed in the Dolphin Stadium parking lots,” Sue Jaquez, a member of the Super Bowl XLI Host Committee, confirmed on Tuesday. “And there is no tailgating anywhere within a one-mile radius of the stadium.” “And there are no RVs allowed.”

The rules put in place say that if you are caught “grilling or drinking alcohol” you “could be charged”.

Ok, not to get picky, but this is a bit much. No tailgating at the Super Bowl!!? What? One game a year where you have this great collection of fans from both teams assembling on a neutral site and you can’t tailgate? A really bad idea. Don’t eat burgers within a mile of the stadium, UNLESS you pay 8 bucks for the concession ones. Oh yeah, and don’t crack any beers open….unless of course you buy the watered down tap stuff on sale for 8 bucks a pop. First, they send Thursday and Saturday night games to the “NFL Network”…now, you can’t tailgate at the Super Bowl. What’s next, a foam finger ban? Will they ban me for wearing the jersey of my favorite player?

This whole ban leaves me with a few important questions:

1. What if I happen to live within one mile of the stadium? I know there probably aren’t any homes in this radius, but just what if? Would they bust in my house and stop me from making those tasty grilled cheeses I like to make?

2. Does this have something to do with the Miami Heat?

3. I wonder what exactly will constitute “tailgating”. If I pull into a parking space and simply sit on my tailgate am I going to be asked to leave?

4. I know they offer the whole “NFL experience” to all ticket holders. Are they going to add a “tailgating experience” to make up for the lack of the American tradition? Instead of throwing footballs into a tire, or kicking extra points, they could have the kids line up for “beer bonging” and give away pieces of watermelon saturated with everclear.

5. Finally, maybe this is a worthy ban….god forbid terrorists craft a bomb from charcoal, chicken wings, condiments, and your drunk uncle Joe.

Whoever is behind this ban……..you suck.

A Happy Ending For That E-Bay Bears Lady (Deadspin)

Tailgating Forbidden On Super Bowl Sunday (CBS 4 Miami)