GarageGabs

The guys over at The Big Picture have taken the time to rank and file all the female sideline reporters and stack them against one another in a tournament bracket and have readers vote on who they would rather do.  They are calling it simply the “Would you do….” tournament. 

It’s worth a look just for laughs…I mean come on, Erin Andrews vs. Andrea Kremer!?  They have in depth profiles of every girl, many complete with youtube links…I never knew Pam Oliver was carrying so much junk in the trunk!   Also, I can’t believe Suzy Kolber got 34 yes votes, to just 4 no votes.  I wold NOT do Suzy Kolber.
“Would you do….”  (The Big Picture)

Two weeks after after making the Hall Of Fame, ESPN has decided to let Michael Irvin ride into the sunset.  You know the routine, Irvin has been working with the network since 2003 but has ruffled a few feathers due to his off the wall comments.  Of course, ESPN says that this was simply a talent decision.  Either way, Irvin now has the opportunity to chase what I’m sure will be a storied career on the big screen.

I never really had a problem with Michael Irvin.  So what, he always had T.O.’s back, (Irvin was one of the FEW that told felt ESPN was jumping the gun) he thought Tony Romo might be black, he wore loud obnoxious suits, and yeah, he was usually loud and obnoxious himself.  I’ll take Irvin over Steve ‘I have no personality’ Young any day.  Also, I wonder if Michael Irvin would have sat back and let Rush Limbaugh say what he did about Donovan McNabb like Tom Jackson did??  You can’t tell me you aren’t tired of Chris Berman?  I think I lot of people disliked Irvin for many different reasons, but he actually wasn’t that bad of a studio guy.

Breaking: Michael Irvin Out At ESPN   (The Big Lead)

Michael Irvin Not Returning To ESPN  ( Dallas Morning News)

Well, if you didn’t already know, Duke broke out of their 4 game losing streak by beating Boston College tonight, 78-70. Coach K got all excited and pumped his chest, Dookie V told us how K has “no tolerance” for losing, Duke is back in the hunt, blah blah blah. Basically, all is right for your biggest Duke lovers…including ESPN.

Need Proof?

Hell, why not just have ESPN tell you that all is right? Here’s what the ESPN front page looks like at 12:10 am, 2-15-07.  Honestly, a local paper may as well have printed this headline.

That’s more like it. As in, that’s more like it Blue Devils, we (ESPN) knew ya had it in ya! The Duke Love-Thon continues.

First place in the ACC will be on the line when UNC and Boston College square off Saturday.

McRoberts helps Duke bounce back with win over BC (ESPN)

Ok, I really tried to take up for Sean Salisbury, but now he leaves me no choice.  Salisbury, who has been under constant attack from the blogging community just doesn’t know how to let things die it seems.  Most of us here in what Salisbury considers some “alternate realm” listened to this audio and concluded that he did use the word “jew” BUT he didn’t mean anything by it.  Even Deadspin (Obi Wan to Sean’s Vader) kinda let things drop by saying…here’s the audio, you decide.  Story over.  No big deal, you accidentally used the word “jew”.  It happens, you were talking fast, and a different word than intended came out of your mouth.

Well, Sean couldn’t let it ride.  In a Chicago Tribune Article Sean said the following:

“I said crunch and chew. I don’t know where a Jewish comment would have any place in talking about a quarterback driving down the field. If a blogger heard what he wanted to hear, there’s nothing I could do about that. But I didn’t say anything remotely close.  People who know me know when it comes to religion, race, color, sexual preference, those things don’t matter to me.  At some point you’ve got to defend yourself. We’ve all made mistakes, but that wasn’t a mistake.”

Ok, now he’s asking for it.  No one heard what they wanted to hear.  We all heard you use the word “Jew” and didn’t feel it was a big deal.  Your character wasn’t being assaulted, you were being let off the hook for misspeaking.  It happens.  I suggest that Salisbury actually sit down and listen to the audio himself and see if he said anything “remotely close” to the word “Jew”.  Why not just admit you misspoke?  When you get SO defensive you start to seem a bit guilty.  No one is asking you to say you hate Jews or admit that you care about sexual preference….but you said the word Sean.  I’m sure this story is going to carry on even further now.  Yes, I believe the blogging community has it out for Salisbury….but not nearly as much as he has it out for the bloggers.  The great thing about blogging is the opinions of viewers/readers are allowed all the time, for all to see.  With venues such as ESPN you get your news from their homers and that’s just how it be.

Sean Salisbury Should Probably Relax A Little Bit  (Deadspin)

Sean Salisbury Audio  (Pro Football Talk)

Chicago Tribune Article 

Sean “The Greek” Salisbury  (GarageGabs)

Ok, at this point, I’m starting to feel bad for Sean Salisbury, a guy whom I previously didn’t care for.  First, he got hit with the whole penis picture thing.  Now, it appears he used the word “JEW” as he described Peyton Manning and the Colts overcoming adversity.
Here is what I think he said:

“No need to panic, we’ll nip, we’ll tuck, we’ll go, we’ll punch, we’ll jew,  we’ll do it all, and they nickeled and dimed em, and Peyton made the play when it mattered.”

Profootballtalk.com was kind enough to extract the actual audio, so you can listen for yourself.

I really don’t see the big deal.  I think he used the word “jew” but I don’t think he intended to.  I think maybe he meant to say juke….who knows.  Either way, I bet he gets fired for this.  ESPN is reporting that he said “chew”, so obviously, they are a bit worried as to the implications.  Seriously though, people always complain about living in such a PC world, and now we are ragging this poor guy to death.  I for one, am going to let up on Salisbury.  Everything reported about him has been pure speculation, he’s probably just a normal guy, just like the rest of us.  He obviously has a passion for football.  Good luck with this one Sean.

The Salisbury Audio: Decide For Yourself  (Deadspin)

If you haven’t heard, it appears Donovan McNabb has been a bit upset with the Eagles since his knee surgery. According to ESPN he has 3 gripes, one of which I agree with. Apparently, McNabb wanted to travel with the team during the playoffs, but he wasn’t allowed to because of a team rule. I agree with McNabb on this one, I think you make exceptions to all rules from time to time. This is a time where I would have made an exception if the guy wants to be with the team.

The other two gripes are just McNabb at his McVery best. According to sources that are “close to McNabb” (ummm, ok) he gets the feeling that many of his teammates prefer Jeff Garcia over him. Quite honestly, it doesn’t surprise me that this might actually be happening or that McNabb would be upset by it. I’ve been urging people to read Terrell Owens’s book T.O. for several months now just to get an idea of what kind of a heel McNabb is. Owens made it pretty clear that McNabb HAD TO BE the face of the Eagles. This latest report only validates Owens theory.

McNabb is also upset at how his mother is being portrayed by the media and by Eagles fans for comments she wrote in her blog: Evidently she said something to the effect of: watching the Eagles win without Donovan was “bittersweet”. Hey, Donovan, I totally understand you being upset at how someone in your family is being portrayed…but guess what? Your mom opens herself up to public scrutiny by

A. Appearing in commercials.

B. Having a blog where she discusses the Eagles. Yeah, I’ve got a blog myself, and I am open to public scrutiny as well. However, my opinion or commentary isn’t really all that important to anyone, as I am not related to any NFL stars.

So what happens in Philly? Not much, if they let McNabb go, they are insane. Jeff Garcia had a nice run, but he isn’t the future, past, or present of this team. They need to bring BOTH guys back, with McNabb being the starter, Garcia waiting in the wings.

McNabb isn’t the only person sounding off recently. Terrell Owens fired some jabs at departing Bill Parcells, comparing him to his grandmother:

“I am just hoping his retirement brings promise to what the team has to offer,” Owens said. “This past year was a big letdown. On paper we were as good as anybody we played against every week. The end result didn’t show that. Our play was not indicative of what we could have done. What we should have done. Hopefully, the owner will hire a coach to take the team to the next level.”

I’m no longer going to attempt to defend Owens. I think he is seriously blaming 2006 on Bill Parcells. Well, he might be right. Having known a couple of alchoholics in my life, Bill Parcells was what is called an “enabler” for Owens. Parcells, in his old age, allowed Owens to pretty much have his run with things, and it led to a pretty weird season. Just think, if Owens catches the easy TD vs. Washington, Dallas is seeded higher….honestly, I believe Dallas lost a couple games thanks to T.O.’s lack of catching ability. Not that I’ve ever pointed a finger at the guy, but if you are going to point fingers at coach…well, look in the mirror T.O. I can’t believe Owens thinks that coaching was part of the problem. If you are keeping score that’s Terrell Owens 1, Dallas Cowboys 0.

ESPN is reporting that Lab Results conclude that Michael Vick’s water bottle did not contain drugs.  In the biggest sports story since the Terrell Owens overdose, Vick was suspected of trying to get a water bottle with weed in it into a Miami airport last week.

This new information leaves a lot of questions to be answered:

1. Does the police officer that determined the substance in the bottle smelled like sticky icky face any punishment?  I mean come on, seems like the police would know that they had better be sure in such a high profile case.  If I’m ridin around with my boys and someone hands me a bottle, sure, I would say….“Hey man, this smells like dope”.   However, you might wanna think twice about saying something like that if your comments are going to GO NATIONAL!

2. So, what exactly was in the freakin bottle?  This doesn’t change the fact that Vick had a water bottle with a secret compartment in it that he was a bit hesitant to part ways with. Of course, neither of those are crimes, but really….I’ve never had a need to carry around the old secret water bottle thing.  Is this just a case of the police dropping the ball?  Was their really some residue in the bottle, but to save face they said there was nothing?  Saving face because they didn’t inspect the bottle until after Vick had thrown it in a recycle bin.

3. Does Michael Vick really smoke weed?

If I were Ron Mexico Michael Vick,  I’d want to clear this mess up.  Something fishy is going on here.

Notre Dame continues to be the most over-hyped team in college football as they were clobbered by LSU tonight in the Who Cares Bowl, 41-14. Notre Dame has now lost 9 consecutive bowl games, not to mention 3 of 4 games they played vs. ranked teams this season. Over-hyped Brady Quinn gave us a good preview of how he’ll look in a Raiders uniform next year going 15 of 35 for just 148 yards, 2 TD’s and 2 picks.

How long until the Golden Domers are calling for Charlie Wies to be fired? During the now 9 game bowl streak, Notre Dame has had 5 coaches….They can’t let Wies have too long a leash. He won’t have Brady Quinn to pull him out of fires vs. patsy schedules next year. Honestly, I don’t have anything against Notre Dame I just get sick of hearing them discussed by the national media so much. Why were they even in a BCS bowl?

Anyway, something good did come out of the game; The world got another look at JaMarcus Russell. Russell, a junior, threw for 332 yards and 2 TD, and ran for a TD as well. He hasn’t decided on the NFL as of yet, here’s to hoping he stays at LSU.

Anyone that reads my blog knows I am a Cowboys fan.  This is my own personal blog, and in my opinion I am not binded by your normal journalistic code of ethics.  The National Sports Media used to have a code of ethics as far as team allegiance, but things have gotten all out of whack in the past few years.  Big time media is starting to report sports from VERY slanted angles.  Why do I get the impression that much of the national media will be pulling for the Eagles on Christmas day vs. the Cowboys?  Maybe because they just come out and say it…..Boomer Esiason has gone as far to say that he hopes the Eagles can beat the Cowboys Monday….so poor Jeff Garcia can get the last laugh on T.O.  Hey Boomer, you can call your content a “blog” or “special feature” but it doesn’t change the fact that you are SUPPOSED to be a NON BIASED NFL Analyst…not only do you work as a television analyst but you are submitting your “special feature” to NFL.com, not IHATEDALLAS.com.  It’s fantastic that you have some sort of hidden love for Jeff Garcia, and of course an inner hatred for Terrell Owens and the Dallas Cowboys, but as a professional that is information that you should keep to yourself.  Esiason goes on to explain that the spitting incident was another cry for help from Owens and that at some point Owens is going to kill the Cowboys.  Is it me, or have analysts been saying that T.O. was going to tear apart Dallas all year?  I’m wondering when that is going to happen…..maybe come playoff time??  Funny, Dallas sits at 9-5 and has an opportunity to lock up the NFC East this week….yet all you hear is how the Eagles have this wonderful opportunity to dethrone Dallas.    John Clayton goes on and on about a Dallas loss being another dagger in the heart of T.O. and his future with the Cowboys….Clayton is quick to note that Owens was behind Drew Bledsoe being benched in favor of Tony Romo….Uhhhh, THANK GOD!  John, not sure if you checked, but benching Bledsoe for Romo was the best thing to happen to Dallas all year.  I just don’t get it…..the whole impending doom for the Cowboys, vs. wonderful opportunity for Philadelphia.  Ugggh.  I sit here and remember back to back to back 5-11 seasons and figure a trip to the playoffs would be anything but gloomy.
Meanwhile you have articles like this that continue to tout Tiki Barber as some sort of saintly team leader.  Clarke Judge goes on to write that Barber has been handicapped by a “team wide slump” as the Giants have lost 5 of 6.  So, let me get this straight….Dallas makes a QB change and promptly wins 6 of 8 (after starting 3-3) and it is IN SPITE OF Terrell Owens, yet the Giants lose 5 of 6 (interestingly enough after Barber announces he will retire at the end of the year AND criticizes the play calling) yet it is the Giants that handicap Tiki.  Seriously folks, I know you are sick of me heralding Owens as some sort of savior (which is part true and part not true) but at least I look at things with some perspective.  I’m not saying that Barber is the sole reason for the Giants slide, but if you want to look for some locker room turmoil, look no further than Barber. Judge also comments that the Giants should appreciate what Barber has done for them during his career in what could be his last home game….I know Barber has been an Stat-hog during his blank year NFL career, but where exactly has he gotten the Giants during his 10 year career?  In 6 post-season games Barber has averaged less than 3 yards per carry, with only 1 TD, and just one 100 yard game.  In the Giants lone Super Bowl appearance with Barber he was made into a non-factor as the Giants fell behind quickly to Baltimore before losing 34-7.  He’s mouthed off more than once about coaching decisions, has his own radio show on Sirius (with his brother) where he openly talked of retiring next year,  (this, smack dab in the middle of this season) and has routinely disappeared in the playoffs, yet is touted as some sort of classy leader?  Huh?  Just because Barber speaks properly and dresses like he is auditioning for an OLD NAVY commercial doesn’t mean he emanates class.

Long story short?  The media is just like you.  They all have favorite teams and favorite players…..they pull for teams and players.  Then they write about it and try not to seem slanted, while constantly steering you in the direction THEY want.  I’m not trying to steer you in any direction.  I know I’m a homer.  I embrace it.

  Oh Tiki, you’re so great!!  

If you are from another planet you don’t know that suspensions were handed out today to the players involved in the Nuggets/Knicks brawl, as well as a hefty fine for Terrell Owens.

First, I’d like to deal with Terrell Owens getting fined $35,000 by the NFL.  Once again, I’ll say I don’t agree with spitting on a player.  However, no official saw him do it, and it isn’t on tape, so we really don’t know the severity of the spit….what I mean is, did he really hock one at Hall, did some spit just fly out of his mouth….just how bad was it?  We don’t know.  Owens said today that it wasn’t entirely intentional and that Hall was making a bigger deal out of it than it really was.  No one saw it, Owens said it was just a result of talking in another players face….and spit flying out…Sounds a pretty fishy, but  Owens has always been a truth-teller so who knows.  I just don’t get the amount of the fine.  Sean Taylor was fined $17,000 last year for doing the same thing and they SAW HIM DO IT.  I have to believe that Owens received a higher fine because he is Owens.  Does this mean fines are going to start growing for every on-field incident?  Of course, I could care less how much money they charge Owens, all I care is that he plays.
Now, do yourself a favor and click the link I provided above….First, read the nonsense that Joe  Theisman is babbling…I’ll print it here:  Theisman’s take:  Joe Theisman thinks T.O. should have been suspended for a minimum of two games for spitting in the face of DeAngelo Hall. He also believes T.O. will do something at some time to hurt the Cowboys during their playoff run. My god man, are you serious?  Yo Joe, no one has EVER been suspended for spitting on another player!  Why should Owens be the first?  I’ve always thought Joe Theisman was a first class idiot but this takes the cake.  This is the same guy that changed the pronunciation of this name so it would rhyme with heisman….from THEEZ-man to THIZE-man.  Joe, a lot of people probably agree with you about Owens, but you are a bumbling fool, no one respects you.  I wonder if it occurs to anyone that Joe was a Redskin, and naturally despises Dallas….Gee, I don’t guess a 2 game suspension during a tight playoff race would bother the Cowboys would it Joe?  Nothing Theesman says can get the Redskins in the playoffs….or Bret Favre, Joe’s lovechild.  I dare anyone reading this post to tell me they actually enjoy Joe Theiman as an NFL analyst.  Check out this post on Deadspin for some other Monday Night Football Rants.
Now, click the ESPN video and sit through  Merril Hodge and Sean Salisbury go on about the situation.  The bias of these guys is so obvious…..“when you have 25 million reasons not to commit suicide, 35,000 is nothing”.…Did Hodge seriously say that?  The way he says it is almost like he has a bone to pick…..I think Hodge is seriously upset about this….also, who in gods name cuts this mans hair??  Hell, who dresses him for that matter, he’s wearing a purple table cloth!   Salisbury went as far to say “the NFL would be a better place without Owens”…man, seriously, get a life.  Hey Sean…..the NFL is a better place without YOU and your 19 career passing Touchdowns! (and 19 picks)  Also, why is Salisbury trying to grow a goatee, it makes him look sick.  Salisbury says he would rather be sucker punched than spit on…..ha ha, I’d like to be the one to sucker punch him.  He always tries to be so “out there” with his picks and predictions that he comes off looking like a moron.  It’s no wonder the only person he can ever out debate is John Clayton.   The NFL is full of arrogant jerks, Owens just happens to be an attention wanting, dynamic wide receiver of a big jerk…and oh yeah, he leads the NFL with 11 receiving TD’s….funny, they mention all his drops, but I haven’t heard one analyst mention his 11 TD’s?? Big deal, he spit on a prima-donna corner back.  Hall should have waited for Owens after the game and settled the score on his own rather than whining to the media.

In case you were wondering, I used a debate technique that I learned in an English class a year or so ago…it is called “attack your opponent”….when your case is in need of help you can always attack the character of the person who disagrees with you to make their point of view seem weaker.  Politicians do it all the time, I’d like to officially welcome the tactic to my blog.

In conclusion, I liked Mike Ditka’s comments on the situation from today’s USA Today:  “If I was DeAngelo Hall, I would have gotten dressed real quick and would have gotten right in front of that locker room.  When he came out, I would have hit him as hard as I could”.   

Now, on to the NBA suspensions.    Man, I really don’t know what else to say about this.  I think the entire thing is getting blown WAY out of proportion.  People are suggesting that Isiah Thomas should have gotten suspended for urging his team to foul Denver hard.  Well, I don’t see anything wrong with a hard foul, and although I think Thomas is a moron for complaining about the situation after the fact, the idea that his team fouled the other team while they tried to dunk is not that big of a deal to me.  I felt the suspensions were suitable but not equal.  A punch thrown is a punch thrown…everyone throwing punches should have gotten the same suspension.  Why didn’t every player that threw punches get the same amount of games as Anthony?  Yeah, his was a sucker punch, but fighting is fighting in my eyes.

I think that Carmelo Anthony, Nate Robinson, JR Smith, Mardy Collins, and Jared Jeffries  should have each been suspended 15 games for fighting.  Everyone else that came off the bench should have gotten a game  (which was the case).  Anyway, I believe our Denver correspondent Ruben Romero is going to have more on this story later, so I’m gonna end my rant here.